How Can You Tell If He’s Not Mr. Right?

by Jennifer Hawke

You’re dating a great guy, and things have been going well for a while now. But, you’ve been burned before, and you know sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Even when a relationship seems like a good one, eventually the honeymoon period is over, and you realized you wasted your time with the wrong man. If you had known he wasn’t “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Right,” you wouldn’t have spent so much time with him or her. You want to get married and have kids one day, not be in an endless string of relatively short-term relationships. So how can you tell if he’s not Mr. Right? Here are some tips to help you out.

Bradley Cooper can’t date us all…

Do You Feel Like You’re Settling?

Every girl should have an idea of what their dream man would be like and what qualities he’d have. When you think about your boyfriend, does he match with most of the things that are important to you? He doesn’t have to be perfect, but he shouldn’t be so far away from your ideal that you feel like you’re settling. There are lots of men out there, and perhaps there’s one who’s a better fit for you.

Is He Controlling or Jealous?

If your boyfriend is very controlling over the things you do, it’s a bad sign. If he’s the very jealous type, it’s also not good news. A relationship should have mutual respect and trust. If he doesn’t respect you enough to let you make your own decisions, and if he doesn’t trust you even though you’ve done nothing wrong, he’s definitely Mr. Wrong.

Are Your Future Goals Wildly Different?

When you think about the future, how well does your boyfriend fit into your plans? If your dream is to live on a farm and raise 10 kids, and he’d only be happy in the city with just a dog, it probably won’t work out no matter how much you enjoy being together. If neither of you are willing to compromise and your goals clash, you might be better off finding someone who’s more like you.

How Good is the Chemistry?

Chemistry is an important part of any relationship, so what’s the chemistry like in your relationship? And be honest. If he’s Mr. Right, you’ll be happy being only with him forever. He satisfies you completely. If he’s Mr. Wrong, it might not be as thrilling as it could be. If you feel like it’s just routine, and lacks a deeper connection that feels like love, it probably won’t last.

What are Your Instincts Telling You?

In the end, only you can determine whether or not your boyfriend is the guy for you. No matter what, you have to listen to your instincts because they’re just about always right. If you feel like you have to convince yourself that he’s Mr. Right – that he should be – he’s probably not. When he’s Mr. Right, you’ll just know it. You won’t even be questioning whether he is or is not; it will be easy to tell.

This post was generously provided by Jennifer Hawke.

Jennifer Hawke is a travel agent who represents many Bahamas Island resorts and a freelance writer who loves to give relationships advice on a broad variety of topics.

6 comments… add one
  • Hi,

    I really like this post as I’ve been in more relationships than I care to mention. Now, at 60, I may be at a place in my life where I know what I want and am not willing to settle, as you mention in your article.

    Only problem is that the men are scarce. How can men in their 50’s and 60’s still act like ‘players’? It’s beyond me to figure it out.

    Love the article. Sally

    • Oh, my, Sally! Did not mean to leave you hanging here… 🙂

      Your comments bring a smile to my face and also pause to think. You are so inspiring, Sally.

      No kidding, on the “players.” Any time I start to think about differences of opinions, etc.,… I say, hey I have my Mr. Right, so I’m staying right where I’m at!. It really helps to count your blessings, and for anyone who has found Mr. Right, don’t discard something just because it is uncomfortable at the moment.

      Sally – you are a dear and an inspiration. Keep it up! 🙂

  • Hi! Seems that you almost know different things about it huh! Knowing someone doesn’t need to tell if you are right or wrong.

    • Hi TracyAnn, Sometimes knowing someone, or even thinking you know everything there is to know, can still pop in some surprises there. Also, take into consideration life changes, chemical changes, health changes, and not everything may be as it seems or stay as you thought it was. Fortunately, life is a journey and we do the best we can to learn along the way and we are there for each other, to give a helping hand when needed.

  • Hi
    Thanks for this great article ! Liked it.
    Its definitely important to test the chemistry before thinking positively for your Mr.Right.


  • i think telling the truth is important,if you dont have the proper person,end it,no reason to lie or cheat on anyone

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