Deborah

Mutilation Is Causing Problems

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Deborah E answers, “My mutilation is hard due to psychological problems.”

I can see where this would be very difficult, as you have issues that are bothering you, and they are presenting themselves in harm to your body, as well.

By the reference to “my mutilation,” it seems clear that you are aware that this is an issue and is causing you difficulties. You are also aware that the mutilation is not a symptom of itself, but, as you put it yourself, it is a symptom of a psychological problem or problems.

As a result, it is difficult to address the mutilation issue and bodily harm without addressing the

I’m In Love WIth A Guy That I Really Want To Marry

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Deborah E answers the question, “The guy that I have known for a long time now told me that his girlfriend would be coming for a visit. I love him. He told me that it is not that he would marry any girl that he had dated. Please advice me on what to do.”

It sounds like you are saying that this guy is not interested in marriage at all, or that he has a desire to marry someone whom he has not met yet or does not know. If he has lofty dreams of someone whom he does not know, his desire for this unknown woman is elevated to a level that possibly no one could reach, not even the unknown woman, herself.

We are human beings, good points and bad. Our flaws need to be embraced as much as our beauties.

If he is telling you that his girlfriend is visiting, but not to worry because he wouldn’t be marrying her, then I would ask myself if this is one-sided. Does the girlfriend know that she has reached the plateau of their relationship, that they will never, according to him, proceed past this point? This is not really our business, but if that is what this guy is saying, he is not really expressing an interest in marriage with or to anyone, so it makes it a little tricky for you when your desire is to marry someone who doesn’t want to be married.

Why Is The Man Happy Before Me?

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Deborah E answers the question, “Why don’t I feel the man yet he is happy before me?”

I understand that you are suffering and that this is a very difficult situation for you, one that is not easily resolved and one for which a resolution is hard to identify.

First of all, you need to communicate this with your man. Possibly, you have already done this. If he is uncaring on how you feel and the fulfillment that you need, you may want to look at the relationship, beyond the intimacy time. You may want to consider meeting with a counselor to discuss aspects of your relationship.

If you have discussed it and your relationship is intact, but neither of you can find a way to have mutual happiness, then you may want to

The Damsel and The Fortresses

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Reframing a View on the Consequences of Actions
A long, long, time ago (these stories do start like that, right?), there was a beautiful young damsel. We will call her, “Damsel.” She lived in a fortress called the “Fortress of Fantasy” (“Fantasy,” for short) and she was quite happy there, having just arrived. She had been found in another village where she was not well cared for and was “rescued” by the people of Fantasy.

There was another fortress, across the field, called the “Fortress of Bubbles” (“Bubbles,” for short). The people of Fantasy did not like the people of Bubbles. In fact, they blamed Bubbles for the treatment that Damsel received in the village that she had come from, so she felt that she must be extra-safe in Fantasy.