Deborah

5 Successes Every Day

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5 Successes Every Day

One of the continuous concepts to "feeling up" (and you will hear it often) is the positive thinking element and trying, even if it feels like it is against every fiber of your being, to focus on that positive and to choose *not* to focus on the negative.

Believe me, I have even struggled with that sometimes! Painted ponies and cotton candy do not come easy. Why do you think I named my domain Positive, yep, *Persistence.* You got it, because it comes with persistence.

You have the hardest part done. I mean, you are here because you really want to feel good about yourself, right? So, let's start with reminding ourselves of the positive every day.

Tracking the 5 Successes Every Day

Oh, I had heard it before and it all sounded great. I had even done my own checklists on my computer. I love checklists and it makes more sense to keep it on the computer, right?

I thought so, too, until I did a blogging challenge with Ariel Hyatt of Ariel Publicity. She talks about the process I am about to explain (let's give Ariel a round of applause for today's tip, shall we?). She pointed out that studies have been done that show that a different part of the brain is used when writing something down versus typing it into a computer. I know it seems old-fashioned, but you know what? I've been doing it for about a year, and I am a believer!

Are The Puppies In The Middle?

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Thinking through different perspectives on "protecting the safety of the puppies."

Are The Puppies In The Middle?

I have several friends who are animal rights activists. Hey, I love those critters, too! There is something that I really appreciate about these friends, and I was thinking about it just today. My animal rights activists ask me if they may have my permission to post messages on my Facebook timeline. Did you catch that? They ask permission. Personally, I think that is very classy. Of course, I always say, "Absolutely!"

Once I got past my admiration for my friends and how wonderful they are, I got to thinking about activism, as a movement and how it plays out, but more than that, what is at the other end of activism, especially in cases where there are living creatures involved.

1st Step: Activism

First, I thought, I must be an activist for hugs and loving everyone because I have my "5 Hugs A Day" campaign. Right?

I looked up the word "activism" at meriam-webster.com and this is the definition:

"a doctrine or practice that emphasizes direct vigorous action especially in support of or opposition to one side of a controversial issue."

Guess that rules out "hugging" since it isn't vigorous. Could be, with a bear hug, I guess. But, there doesn't seem to be a controversial issue involved. I mean, if someone doesn't want a hug, no one is forcing them to be hugged. And. last I checked, there isn't an anti-hugging group, is there?

Ok, I guess 5 Hugs doesn't count as activism....

So, what about animal rights activists? Their label includes the word "activist" and it is vigorous to rescue some of those animals and they would meet with opposition when trying to rescue the animals out of homes where they are being abused. Ok, let's agree, for this post, that they are activists.

2nd Step: Shelter

The other part of my thinking was the support roles in the equation of protecting animals. Once these animals are rescued, even if it is a vigorous and challenging process and it gets a lot of media, even social media, attention, what happens to the little damaged critters? I mean do the puppies get put in the middle of the vigorous battle, still injured from their recent ordeal?

I think, and dear friends correct me, the little puppies and critters go to a shelter where they may be bandaged and loved and hugged (See, you knew I would work that "hug" word in there again!) and loved. Their needs and wants being taken care of by those workers who not only love animals but spend many of their days doing just that, caring for the wounded critters.

Separate Steps

It seems to me that both steps are important in the rescuing of the puppies, but should they happen at the same time, by the same group? Wouldn't the puppies get stuck in the middle and subjected to cross-fire? I mean how do you bandage a puppy while the abuser is there vigorously opposing the activist? And, will the activist be a little too energized and adrenaline-charged to handle the puppy so that it doesn't get scared, immediately following its rescue?

I can really see where both the activist and the shelter "huggers" are needed and I am thankful that the puppies can be taken out of the vigorous (activism) arena and protected, safe and sound and snuggly in the shelter, with kindhearted, loving, experienced "huggers" of animals.

And, thank you, again, my dear activist friends, for being vigorous enough to save the puppies, but classy enough to ask permission when posting on my Facebook timeline, and loving enough to bandage and snuggle the puppies. You rock, dear friends!

The Validation Vacuum

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When a child does not grow up with a validation that they are loved, there is created, within the soul of the child what I call a "Validation Vacuum."

This whole is deep within, and the child learns to hid this black hole from others as best as he or she can, over time. This child grows up with the knowledge of the hole, but is not necessarily able to articulate what the hole is. If it happens young enough in the child's life, for example, at birth, the child doesn't know any different and believes that it is normal. If the child is able to adjust, or self-pacify, or somehow balance, such that the outside world has not idea what he or she is suffering, the child grows to believe that that is his or her "lot in life" as if straws were drawn to select this special child to house the validation vacuum, and the child seeks out other ways to distract him or her from the pain.

If society is lucky, the child will seek out self-soothing methods that do not attract too much attention and do not impose upon the society in which the child lives. If the society is not so lucky, the child may seek out more aggressive methods of getting attention for this vacuum, at and the minimum suffer from the abnormal side of psychology in the area of "borderline personality disorder" or even, if sever enough, schizophrenia, and the like. Anger is not an uncommon response if the child is unable to self-soothe and is looking for that which he or she feels entitled to and has lost. Sometimes behaviors and disorders such as reactive attachment disorder may be the direction that the child goes, after experiencing a catastrophic "why me?" response when realizing that other children are not like him or her.

It is not uncommon for the child to believe that objects are more important than human life. Not all human life, just his or her specific human life. When the parent does not spend time telling the child, and more importantly, helping the child to "feel" loved, he or she will assume that they have no value to the household and will make every effort to try to please the primary caregiver in order to somehow earn the love that he or she so desperately needs.

If the child realizes that this effort is futile, he or she will envelop themselves inside their very being, creating a facade that is safe to show the family and the outside world, but attempting to accept the fate which besets him or her, including that objects have more inherent value and so much be treated with more respect that even the child themselves.

The child will grow into adulthood and depending on how he or she approaches this validation vacuum, may choose negative patterns of behavior or extremely positive behavior patterns, attempting to make up for the validation vacuum that exists within by ensuring that no more validation vacuums are creating in the world around them. This is, obviously, an insurmountable task, and often times this can lead to depression or the triggering of a bi-polar disorder.

Who Actually Popped The Bubble?

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I'd like to think that we are all learning, every day, if we will allow ourselves, on this path called Life. And, surely, I do not know everything. Did you hear that? Go back and read that one, again, please: I do not know everything. I'd also like to think that in my zest for learning and understanding, that I am also humble enough to admit where I have been enlightened by new information that may affect my overall perspective. This is something that I try to give to others and I appreciate when they give it to me. It is also the reason that I choose to live my life as transparent as possible. So, kids, what you see is what you get!

Last November, I wrote a post about what is called the "bubble" of thinking that exists at Prairie Bible College and its president, Mark Maxwell. I highlighted the aspects of hypocrisy that seemed very evident to me, especially as it related to the use of verbiage by Mark Maxwell. At the time, fueled by other perspectives, the context of the verbiage seemed to support a thought that Prairie viewed themselves as better than the rest of the world and here they are allowed to use naughty words, but the rest of us are damned if we do. The irony, truth be told, is that I do not really have that big of an issue with the verbiage... Probably that financial background experience kicking in here.

“Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” : Rodney King

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"Why Can't We All Just Get Along?"
Rodney King, Los Angeles Riots, 1992

I think about this quote often. Probably daily. I can still see the face of Rodney King as he pleaded with the people of Los Angeles to stop the rioting (see: Los Angeles Riots, 1992), stop the looting, stop the killing. I was there pleading with him, in my heart, watching my beloved Los Angeles being torn apart by hatred and venom. Here was the man so brutally beaten by officers of the Los Angeles Police Department and rather than choosing to be vindictive and spewing his, by some standards, deserved-venom on the whole of the city, he asked the city to stop rioting! He, the victim of heinous behavior told us, Los Angeles, that he didn't require that type of vengeance on his behalf! Now, admittedly, I do not know Rodney King personally. I do not know all of his accolades. I do not know all of his faults. But, I don't need to know this, because, simply put, Rodney being "human" is, and always has been, enough for me and what he said that day, has not left me since.

Do I have a reason to be upset about the riots? Yes, probably so, considering I lost a good friend that day. A friend who decided that he was going to go into the thick of the riot zone and try to make a difference, try to love the people, yes, the rioters. This friend of mine lost his life, as a result, killed by two people as they were looting a a dollar store, beaten to unconsciousness and eventually, death, never to be revived, never to see the light of day. Again, I hear Rodney King's plea and I echo it, "Can't We All Just Get Along?"

In a world where bickering has become commonplace (probably always has been, to some extent), I watch the bullying that goes on, using the internet as a means to attack people, and I ask myself if we have really evolved past the sins of our forefathers. Have we really accepted that we should treat people equally, kindly, and love one another? Have we realized that humanity should be enough of a common ground and keeping track of other people's wrongs and bad attitudes only shines a light on our own, more grievous wrongs?

Why Can't We All Just Get Along? : Rodney King

Does Humanity Need A Definition?

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have been asked, many times, who inspires me, and without hesitation, I say, Martin Luther King, Jr. His faith, his calmness, and yet his spirit of fighting for what he believed in with a strength of character and persistence that would have even his enemies in awe, was still meted with the gentleness of a man who knew how to love humanity and desired to change his community to share in that EQUAL love for humanity. I aspire to be like this great man, who, even in death, could not be stopped from sharing his love generations beyond his time here with us.

Let's take a look in the mirror, shall we? Do we really view each other as what we are, flesh and blood? Or, do we lose points for skin color, sexual orientation, religious affiliations, and "being too nice." If loving people puts me lower in your list, I accept the badge, because when we are knocked down, we are closer to the others who have been knocked down before us, like Rodney King, like Martin Luther King, Jr. and many others, and we are not alone. We are also at a vantage point to start bandaging their wounds, and Mr. King, maybe we won't *all* get along, but we can start right where we are at, even if that is after we have been brutally kicked down, as well.