How Do I Know If My Crush Likes Me?

How do I know if my crush likes me? What do I do if he does or does not?

Dear maria,

Ahhhh. You have asked the age old question! Even I can remember the days when I wondered the same thing. It wasn't yesterday, mind you, but it was not that long ago! And, lest you think some of us have it "all figured out," it isn't necessarily true. As you have more relationships under your belt, experiencing success and non-success in relationships, you start to be able to identify what is working and what is not working more readily. That does not mean that you become a 100% expert. We are dealing with human beings, after all, and we as human beings may have similar patterns of behavior, but we are also unique, as individuals.

One of the key tools that i have learned, is *communication.* I know that is easier said than done and even when communication is used, it isn't always entirely effective since it is dependent on imperfect humans to carry it out. Notwithstanding that people could tell a lie, asking your "crush" if he likes you is one way to find out if he does or doesn't.

Usually when the word, "Crush," is used, it is a person you have an interest in and you do not want to "blow it," by asking the person, as you may become embarrassed and may affect the relationship. It is true that there is some measure of risk by being "forward" enough to ask the question, but there is also some risk (i.e. embarrassment) if you don't ask. You need to evaluate which is more important (i.e. being thought of as forward or embarrassment and not knowing).

As far as what to do if your crush does like you? Again, communication! Talk with your crush about whether or not you want to have a committed relationship or not and what the desired next steps are. If your crush does not like you? Let it go... If if you *could* force your crush to like you, it wouldn't be the type of caring that you are longing for in the first place.

Deborah E
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Deborah is a #1 Jazz Singer, as well as a lifelong musician, songwriter, and sound engineer. She is also a writer who pursues a love of positive psychology. She is a thesis short of having her doctorate in psychology.
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