These days there are so many marriages that do not last the distance, and they often end in a sad and bitter series of arguments. Perhaps couples no longer feel that they can continue in this seemingly doomed relationship. The children suffer as they are forced to ensure endless arguments about pointless issues. When you have made the decision to call it a day, there are still many potentially stressful events to get through before things settle down back to normality. This article looks at why this stress is so prevalent, and unearths a few ways to help make this painful process a little easier to bear.
Why Is It So Hard?
When you have been a part of a serious relationship, it is very difficult to come to terms with the breakdown of that arrangement. You feel as if your own identity has been lost and the future appears to be extremely bleak. As well as the emotional stress, you will experience issues dealing with the financial and material adjustments required. If you have children, their own pain will cause you further grief issues. Nothing about your married life will remain the same, and humans tend to enjoy a stable existence on the whole.
Both of your lives will need a lot of reshaping, especially regarding your relationships with your children. One of you will leave the family home and you will have to decide about the parental responsibilities from now on. Your own families and friends will also need to make some personal choices, and these can cause further stress and rejection issues.
Coping With Change
One of the biggest causes of stress is the feeling that you have lost control over your life and everyday choices. If you start to realise that you suddenly have regained some power over your life, albeit as a single person, you may start to recover your dignity and wellbeing. You need to learn to relax again and this will allow you the luxury of clear thinking. Decide on a future plan, no matter how small, and focus on achieving this goal. Once you have started to do things the way you really want to do them, you will begin to feel happier about yourself.
One Day At a Time
Forget about looking too far ahead, you need to get things sorted right now. By taking each day as it comes, you will avoid overloading your mind with pointless issues that are out of your control. Do not worry too much about your estranged partner, because they are more than capable of dealing with their own problems. Think hard about any decision, but do not regret mistakes you have made in the past, that time has now gone.
Explain to your children that the divorce was not their fault, because this will be on their minds. Spend as much quality time as you can with your kids, and remind them of how much you adore them. In time, you will probably be able to enjoy some time with them and your ex-partner, but until then just make the most of your wonderful children.
- License: Creative Commons image source
From personal experience breakups are very hard, I’ve never been divorced so I couldn’t even imagine how hard that would be. But like everything it seems that time is the best cure for things like that.
Thank you for sharing this Shaun. Yes, divorces hurt like breakups, but have some complications that can go quite deep. Thank you for sharing and caring.