Are you ready to move on from your present relationship? Before you break up with your partner, ask yourself these six questions first.

Am I sure this is what I want?
They don’t say that “breaking up is hard to do” for nothing. It is hard, and it sucks. With so much emotion and time already invested in the relationship, it can be very painful when things end. Before you go through with it, make sure it’s what you really want, and sleep on it a few nights. Your decision should be concrete, not a wishy-washy one that you might end up changing your mind about later.

Is there anything we could do to work things out?
Think about why you’re unhappy with the relationship and want to end it. Are you concerns anything that could be helped? Have you discussed them thoroughly with your partner? Sometimes problems and misunderstandings can be worked out if only you communicate about them honestly. If both of you want things to work, then try everything you can before you call it quits.

What will I say to my partner?
Don’t have the breakup conversation without rehearsing it a little bit first. You don’t have to say your speech out loud or practice with a friend, but it’s a good idea to put some thought into what you want to say. Try to keep things short and to the point, but think about how you can get your point across in the best way possible. If you don’t have a plan, you might end up kicking yourself for not saying what you really wanted to.

How will my partner react to the news?
Even if things are really bad, you should consider your partner’s feelings, too. You did love each other at one time, after all. You don’t necessarily have to sugarcoat things, but at least attempt to be as respectful as possible. Pick a time that’s convenient for both of you to talk, and keep your expectations for the conversation in check. Don’t expect your partner to react any certain way or you might be disappointed.

Are there any side effects of the breakup to consider?
If you’ve been together a long time, you probably have some common interests to consider. You might live together, share belongings, have mutual friends, or be close with each other’s families. Think about how you will divide your property, and what you’ll say to your friends and family when you break the news. If the breakup was initiated by you and your partner is very hurt, you might want to consider making some compromises or concessions in order to keep the peace as best you can.

What do I want things to be like between us in the future?
Sometimes couples find it hard to remain friends after they’ve split, while others stay close. What would be ideal to you? If you want to stay friends, express that to your partner, but don’t expect them to want the same thing, and respect them if they don’t. If you don’t want to ever see them again, break ties as cleanly and completely as possible.

break-up