Latest posts by Deborah (see all)
- Don’t Turn Off the Pain… Completely - April 11, 2016
- Broken Tooth Psychology: When the Parent Cannot Outgrow Their Own Abusive Behavior - February 16, 2016
- As Simple As A Child’s Love - November 26, 2015
I can certainly understand your pain in this situation and I even understand your thoughts of suicide. I'm sure you have heard this before:v Suicide is not the answer to this problem, or any problem. It is an escape. You mention that you have a family. Realize that suicide may seem like an answer to you, but it will create pain in the hearts of your family. No matter how much difficulty you and your family are having and struggling with now, you will only serve to magnify that, for the family, in a taking of your own life.
It is normal to feel pain, and to feel like the only escape from that pain is the suicide, but the amount of pain that is left is extreme, not just in the immediate near future, but for decades, even in the hearts of those people whom you feel do not know you well.
I also understand the feeling of hopelessness in wondering where the next needed amount of money will come from, looking at the past income and realizing that it isn't balancing the way you want it to balance, and wondering, why, after all this time, you should think that it would ever change. But, you need to think in a hopeful manner, that it is indeed possible for things to change for the better.
There are no guarantees in this world, but keeping ourselves on a positive path, as much as we can, is so important to our mental health, and our mental health is important if we are going to facilitate change. Change may come in the form of an open door, but if we are stuck in the "worry zone," we may not see that open door. I cannot guarantee that there will be an open door, but you have the power to change your outlook, and to keep looking and hoping for that open door. You may not be able to force it open, but you have a chance to watch for it. That first step is to think positively about yourself and watch. Remind yourself of the capabilities and talents that you have. Remind yourself of the wonderful family that you have and how blessed you are and keep watching, and hoping.
Check out this article about finding the positive in your life, with daily action steps of finding those successes: 5 Successes Every Day.