Deborah@deborahinfoAugust 27, 2012 Why don't I feel the man yet he is happy before me? milly
I understand that you are suffering and that this is a very difficult situation for you, one that is not easily resolved and one for which a resolution is hard to identify.
First of all, you need to communicate this with your man. Possibly, you have already done this. If he is uncaring on how you feel and the fulfillment that you need, you may want to look at the relationship, beyond the intimacy time. You may want to consider meeting with a counselor to discuss aspects of your relationship.
If you have discussed it and your relationship is intact, but neither of you can find a way to have mutual happiness, then you may want to meet with a specialist that deals with intimacy issues, specifically in this area. The are specialists who understand the process, the physiology, and helpful tips on how to improve in this area.
A couple things to keep in mind. What you are going through is not abnormal. It isn't necessarily unusual. It relates to each of you, individually, on how you are happy, as well as mutually. Do not expect it to happen in a certain textbook manner. Find your own flow. Remember, there are specialists out there who can speak directly to the issues that you face individually and mutually.
Deborah is #1 Jazz Singer, as well as a lifelong musician, songwriter, and sound engineer. She is also a writer who pursues a love of positive psychology. Download the "Boost Your Energy" ebook (absolutely free!).