I Want To Get Married

I want to get married. Can you offer me any assistance in knowing what to do?

Dear khalid,

I can appreciate that you want to get married and that is a very honorable thing.

Something that would be helpful is to ask yourself why you want to get married. Is there a particular man or woman that you want to marry, or is it the idea of being married? Is it marriage that you love or a particular person that you love?

Marriage is the culmination of a relationship that is headed toward marriage, that is, when it is based on love. There are situations of arranged marriages, but it wouldn't seem that you would be talking about how much you want to be married, as if it isn't happening, if it has already been arranged for you.

The wedding is like the prize at the end of a race. However, in this case it is not like the race is over when you get to the end, rather, the wedding is a price before the race has ended but after the race has begun. I say this, because the relationship, now termed as marriage, continues after the wedding, in the same way that it happened before the wedding.

Let's focus on two things before we focus on marriage. First, finding the person that you want to have a relationship with and second, developing that relationship. Then, marriage will be the natural next step.

Deborah E
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Deborah is a #1 Jazz Singer, as well as a lifelong musician, songwriter, and sound engineer. She is also a writer who pursues a love of positive psychology. She is a thesis short of having her doctorate in psychology.
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