How Can I Stop Feeling So Frustrated?

How can I come out of my frustrating condition that currently I'm facing?

Dear sarena,

You have several options on how to approach this, but I'm going to split them into two categories.

Before we look at categories, let's take some time to figure out what is causing you to feel frustrated. Take out a piece of paper and write down a list of things that make you feel frustrated. If you feel frustrated for "no reason," then right that down. Include, on your list, environmental factors, situation descriptions, people, your actions, other people's actions, anything that comes to mind. Brainstorm and write down everything that comes to mind without analyzing each line.

Now, for the categories. Next to each item, list whether it is chageable or not changeable. Use terms that make sense to you, like "I can fix it" (changeable and "I need help" (not changeable).

Changeable would include chosen relationships and situations that you can change (friends, dog that pees on the carpet all the time, etc.). Unchangeable would be things like illnesses, governmental issues, etc. Some things may be on the unchangeable list, for now, but could move to the changeable, later. An example would be a miserable job, but you need it for the income until you can look for a beter job.

For the unchangeable list, you may need to seek counseling to determine ways of coping with these issues and either accepting them and learning coping skills to live with them, or how to move them to your changeable list.

For the changeable list, you can start making a list of steps for each item and how you can change it. So, for example, if the dog peeing on the carpet is frustrating you, you may have steps of taking the dog to obedience school, having a friend help train the dog, setting the dog up outside, etc. If none of these steps work, you may want to give the dog to a friend, thus removing the frustrating event.

A key piece in this is attitude and how you look at the world around you. If you can change it, great, go fo it, but give yourself some slack and allow yourself time to change it.

Deborah E
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Deborah is a #1 Jazz Singer, as well as a lifelong musician, songwriter, and sound engineer. She is also a writer who pursues a love of positive psychology. She is a thesis short of having her doctorate in psychology.
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