Depression is Causing Trouble with My Family and Job

I am extremely depressed and I have hurt my family and friends to the point that they wont talk to me anymore, I could even lose my job because of it? How can I fix things?

Dear Ann,

I'm sorry that you have had such a difficult time. I understand that it is not only the pain the you are feeling but the circumstances that you feel you may have caused by your pain. The whole thing can seem overwhelming.

First, let's get the reality part out of the way. I'm sure that you probably already know this, but it isn't going to be solved overnight. It took steps to get where you are at now and it will take steps to get back to a more comfortable place.

If your family has never been supportive and has been any portion of the cause of your depression, then we don't want to rely on them to be where you feel you need them to be for you. However, if they have simply reached a spot where they no longer know how to help you and are pulling back out of frustration, then once they see improvement they should start coming back to you. But, either way, we need to encourage you, Ann, first, because the healing needs to start with and within you.

My advice to you is to find a counselor or a friend or a support group that has the strength of character to be a sounding board. Someone who will hear what you have to say and give you honest feedback. You may also want to consider seeing a physician to see if there is anything medically that may be causing the feelings of depression.

And, depression doesn't go away in a flicker. We need to find the cause. That's where the doctor or support group may be helpful. But, most important, while you are searching for the answers and solutions, LOVE YOURSELF. Ann, cut yourself some slack. Do not dwell on the thoughts of the family situation and the job situation, but rather practice telling yourself that you WILL get through this.

Ann, you are lovable, and you are loved! Since I can't be with you to tell you this, could you please remind yourself every morning when you get out of bed, and throughout the day?

Deborah E
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Deborah is a #1 Jazz Singer, as well as a lifelong musician, songwriter, and sound engineer. She is also a writer who pursues a love of positive psychology. She is a thesis short of having her doctorate in psychology.
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