Introduction to “30 Days to Feeling Up”


Like many of us, you could probably use some cheering up, at least some of the time, couldn’t you? Even me, with my continual positive thinking, could use that cheering up! Positive thinking requires some persistence, some effort to find the positive, even in the most negative situation and environment. I’ve decided to put together a series called “30 Days to Feeling Up.” I will post these, here, on the web site, and after all 30 have been chosen, will create an eBook for you, free of charge.

Memory Lane and the Validation Vacuum


As I watched the elevator door close, my mind raced through memories of days gone by.. days that one may want to forget, and yet days that have molded me into who I am today. For some, the walk down memory lane brings up a past that one may not want to recall. It is [...]

When Misunderstanding Creates The Foundation of Strength

1 comment

It is a difficult process.  Probably unbearable at times, possibly impossible.  And, yet, it is a road or path that is presented and may be viewed as required.  It is so much easier to have a temper tantrum and demand attention.  It is so much easier to focus on oneself and demand that one be [...]

My Annoying Aunt Posts on My Facebook Wall!

1 comment

Deborah E answers the question, “My aunt keeps posting insults on my facebook, referring to my boyfriend. I don’t know why she has to be so judgmental. And why does she have to post it on my Facebook wall? Oooh, she makes me sooooo mad. What should I do to stop her?”

That is a difficult situation and I understand your frustration.

First, I assume you have already done this, but just in case, have you tried talking to your aunt, either by telephone or, at the least my message? Obviously, we all believe the “right answer” is to try to talk face-to-face, then telephone or skype, and finally, email, IM, or message, but sometimes that does not work or we end up talking AT each other instead of listening and trying to resolve the issue.

If either one of you is not fully interested in resolving the conflict and really protecting the relationship,

We Are Not Happy Meeting Under The Same Roof


Deborah E answers the question, “We are not happy any time we meet under one roof so what do we do?”

It is hard when people are not happy meeting under the same roof. It makes it very difficult, especially when you really care about someone, love someone, and want things to be better. Sometimes even civility and polite behavior would be an improvement over the circumstances you are currently experiencing. But, then, there are times when seemingly kind behavior is only a mask that covers something even more devious and ugly beneath it and one can find themselves not only unhappy in the current environment, but days, weeks, months later, as they process possible negativity that they have experienced.

We don’t want to start off assuming that it is anyone’s fault, as all of us could use some improving, couldn’t we? However, regardless of whose fault it is, or whose fault it is not, you need to examine what you need, can live with, and cannot live without.

Do I Go, or Do I Stay With The Serial Cheater?


Deborah E answers the question, “We live together with our two month old son though we are yet to get married. My boyfriend is a serial cheater and this hurts me a lot. I am tired, frustrated, depressed, and want to walk out of the relationship. Please provide advice to me on this.”

I feel for you and the pain that you must be going through. It appears you have invested a lot into this relationship and probably are a woman with a high capacity to love and to hope. These are excellent qualities to have, so pat yourself on the back for your perseverance.

Judging from your use of the word, “serial,” it appears that possibly your boyfriend is not taking steps to correct the behavior. Possibly he does not view that it is wrong, or he does not feel that it merits the amount of effort to change it. If he is truly trying to change (i.e. seeking a counselor, finding an accountability method, etc.), then this would be a different story. However, I am operating from the assumption that there are no real efforts or desires to change the behavior and that is why you used the word, “serial.”