My Ex Proposed To Me, But…


Deborah E answers the question, “Hi,

I am from Mauritius. Actually, last month, my ex proposed to me again. He said that he really loves me and that he wanted to be with me again. After a few days, I told him, “Yes,” as i still have some feelings for him.

It’s been nearly one month that we have been together, but the thing is that he neither calls me nor texts me. It’s always me who calls him, but when I call him, it’s whether he is busy or there’s someone coming to disturb me.

We are never free for a real discussion.

I just want your opinion, what should i do? I really want things between us to get better but i don’t know how to do that.

Can you please help me?

Waiting for your reply, eagerly,


That is normally an exciting time, to accept a proposal and prepare for your future together with the person you love, and for that, I congratulate you.

However, from your tone in your letter, it sounds as if you have “settled” for this man. I do not get a sense that you are “jumping for joy” over the proposal or the idea of spending your life with him. That would cause me to be a bit concerned, in your shoes.

I once received the advice that you don’t marry the person you can live with, but rather, marry the person you cannot live without.

Is He Cheating On Me While Traveling?


Deborah E answers the question, “I am in love with a certain man. He travels abroad and I stay in Kenya. He comes only ones a year. We met last year when he was in the UK and he told me he would go to my parents but he didn’t, when he came. I love this man. Or, is he cheating on me?”

It is really tricky and takes a lot of dedication and determination to maintain a long distance relationship. I do not know how much you see this man, or how much time you are able to spend with him, but a person who travels extensively, or even simply “quite a bit,” can cause a relationship to feel like it is a long distance relationship, even if you both live in the same town.

With these types of relationships, assuming there is an adequate enough trust basis to start out with, you need to practice trust. In other words, you need to take efforts, even, possibly more than an in-town relationship, to develop that trust, to nurture that trust, and to “self-talk” that trust. If there is reason for you not to trust, you can address that issue.

Be careful that you do not easily throw away trust without provocation or cause to dispel of that trust. At the same time, you want to be

What Are The Consequences Of Being Unemployed?


Deborah E answers the question, “What are some of the consequences of being unemployed?”

Oh, there are many consequences of unemployment, the most obvious being a potential lack of financial stability, or the feeling that that may become the case.

There would seem to be two reasons to ask this question, possibly more. One would be an academic discussion of the cause and effect analysis of this type of situation, say for a thesis or research paper. Another possible reason would be one’s own concern for themselves or for someone they care about who may be going through this situation or possibly facing this situation.

Rather than focusing on the negative consequences which come to mind by the mere mention of a word such as “unemployed,” that, in and of itself, has a potential negative connotation, let’s look at positive outcomes and focus on the opportunities.

Should I Worry If He Is Texting And Calling Less?


Deborah E answers the question, “My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months now. The first month was beautiful, but then the phone calls and texts reduced and even seeing him reduced. He attributes this to a hectic work schedule but he gets me pretty little gifts from time to time. From asking people he stays with, there’s no one else. He also tends to think I nag him and has given me a nickname to that effect. i love him and I think he loves me, too. He is just complicated. He doesn’t like being asked questions.”

I can understand your concern that you are not receiving the same attention that you used to receive from your boyfriend. While he gives you gifts (that is excellent!), you are unsure if he has the same level of love for you that he had before, based on his quantity of phone calls and text messages.

What you are experiencing is normal, the concern about whether your boyfriend loves you and how much he loves you and if that is the same as it was yesterday, and the day before and whether that love will stay the same, grow, or, your bigger fear, diminish.

Your boyfriend’s response is also normal. He appears to be concerned about the questions and, from what you have indicated here, it may be that those questions relate to your relationship and how much he loves you. These questions can become overwhelming to

I Am Struggling With The Continual Lack Of Money


Deborah E answers the question, “Hi. I am very depressed as I am not having sufficient funds to run my family. I am even having suicidal thoughts that if I die all the problems will be solved. Please help.”

I can certainly understand your pain in this situation and I even understand your thoughts of suicide. I’m sure you have heard this before:v Suicide is not the answer to this problem, or any problem. It is an escape. You mention that you have a family. Realize that suicide may seem like an answer to you, but it will create pain in the hearts of your family. No matter how much difficulty you and your family are having and struggling with now, you will only serve to magnify that, for the family, in a taking of your own life.

It is normal to feel pain, and to feel like the only escape from that pain is the suicide, but the amount of pain that is left is extreme, not just in the immediate near future, but for decades, even in the hearts of those people whom you feel do not know you well.

I also understand the feeling of hopelessness in wondering where the next needed amount of money will come from, looking at the

He Is Cheating and Denies It. What Do I Do?


Deborah E answers the question, “I have been in a marriage for two years without conceiving. We have checked out in many hospitals and they told us we have no problem. The reason why am writing to you is that my husband is now seeing another woman behind my back we have had several arguments about this but he keeps denying it, I know the lady and this is not the first time. I thought maybe he will change but he has refused. I am puzzled. I don’t know what to do. When I add on being childless and my husband cheating on me, sometimes I feel like losing my mind. Help me, Deborah.”

I can feel your pain dealing with these many issues, criss-crossing, and interweaving with each different issue and causing that much more confusion.

Let’s separate them into two separate issues, shall we? There is the conception challenge and the potential cheating concern.

First of all, it sounds like you are concerned about the cheating (understandably!). This concern needs to be resolved before worrying about conception. Bringing a child into a situation, even if the situation is undefined, does not resolve the issue, but rather serves to complicate it further (at best) and also exposes another young, vulnerable life to the unresolved, complicated issue. Keep in mind that conceiving a baby is not a solution for something that is wrong in another area of the relationship.