My Annoying Aunt Posts on My Facebook Wall!

My aunt keeps posting insults on my facebook, referring to my boyfriend. I don't know why she has to be so judgmental. And why does she have to post it on my Facebook wall? Oooh, she makes me sooooo mad. What should I do to stop her?

Dear annoyedbyaunt,

That is a difficult situation and I understand your frustration.

First, I assume you have already done this, but just in case, have you tried talking to your aunt, either by telephone or, at the least my message? Obviously, we all believe the "right answer" is to try to talk face-to-face, then telephone or skype, and finally, email, IM, or message, but sometimes that does not work or we end up talking AT each other instead of listening and trying to resolve the issue.

If either one of you is not fully interested in resolving the conflict and really protecting the relationship, maintaining it in the most dignified and mutually-beneficial manner, it is really tricky to hit that middle road, and sometimes can seem downright impossible.

Also many times, especially for those who have "been around the block" a couple, times, we think we are 100% right and therefore, those who are younger should listen to us 150% of the time. That is really an arrogant attitude, but unfortunately common with people of all ages and background. You may even find some tendencies, yourself, at times, as it is a very normal human behavior.

It sounds like things could use a cooling down period, to help you, if possible, move in the direction of relationship conflict management. And, maybe that is not what is on the horizon for your relationship. Either way, regardless of the future, here is what you should do now.

When it comes to Facebook, first do not read the responses. You already know that they are going to upset you, so why subject yourself to more? Hit the delete (remove from wall) button. It is located in the upper right of the posting on your wall. If your aunt's response is a response to something that you have written on your own wall, consider deleting your own post, especially if it only serves to encourage negative remarks on your wall. If there are responses from friends that you want to keep, consider starting a thread via the Facebook messages, instead, keeping the conversation just among people you trust.

Don't reciprocate by posting on your aunt's wall, because that will only encourage the situation to grow in a direction that you do not want, and aggravate you both.

Finally, if none of these work, and your aunt continues to post upsetting messages on your wall, block her, or unfriend her on Facebook. This is usually "last on the list" because it can aggravate the relationship even more and can encourage other family members to become involved and add even more people to that "annoyance list." So, think hard before you take these two steps.

Hope this helps alleviate your annoyance level.

Deborah E
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Deborah is a #1 Jazz Singer, as well as a lifelong musician, songwriter, and sound engineer. She is also a writer who pursues a love of positive psychology. She is a thesis short of having her doctorate in psychology.
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