My Girl Avoids Me Even Though I Give Her Everything Her Heart Desires

raj writes, hi, ma'am. I love one girl, she was working in my company. I love her from my heart. We enjoy every moment. One day her friend told she was date with other friend. He is from 1000km away. I ask her about it. She told it's my life's bad moment. i moved with him and stay 4 days but she told nothing happen between us. I forgive her and I told her, "I am with you forget all else." After some days she start avoiding me. My question is why she start avoiding me, even when I help her with money and I give her everything? Why she did like?

Dear raj,

The reality is that love cannot be purchased. Granted, all relationships, to some extent, involve a "master transaction" or transactions. In more common and acceptable terms, "give and take." One would hope that these transactions, are done out of love for one another, a deep love. It appears that you are motivated by your deep love for this girl and that is highly commendable. However, if this girl does not feel the same kind of love for you, that you find for her, then she may not feel the passion that would motivate her to be kind to you.

There are other motivations for participating in the "give and take" beyond deep love, even if that is the preferred motivation. There is also obligation. For example, a couple may marry because one person has more money than the other, but it is possible that the other person feels obligated to treat the first person kindly in order to retain the position of being married (and having access to the money).

It does not appear that this girl has any motivation to reciprocate/return your love, whether out of love for you or any other motivation.

It is possible that there is some mis-communication somewhere. For example, she has heard an untruth about you. If you go talk to her, you can explain that you love her so deeply and wonder if she loves you, even if she does not love you as deeply. This may help you to identify whether there is a mis-communication.

Remember, if she is not interested in being "bought," you cannot buy her love with money, or even good, loving deeds. It may be that there is another girl out there that will just adore you for your sweetness and thoughtfulness.

Ask Deborah E
Deborah is #1 Jazz Singer, as well as a lifelong musician, songwriter, and sound engineer. She is also a writer who pursues a love of positive psychology. Download the "Boost Your Energy" ebook (absolutely free!).
3 comments… add one
  • The real dark story unveils here. The little innocent doe in you (in most cases) braves itself up and walks curiously ahead. You’re flattered to know he loves you, no man who’s so sweet has ever told you something like that. You realize you love him too. But then, what’s the ending of the story?

  • Worried about the recent emotions he can’t understand, he confided to In-hae his recent unexplained feelings. In-hae asked who was the woman he was feeling it with, but Si-on wanted to keep it a secret. Annoyed by not sharing his secret love, In-hae explained to him that what he was experiencing were symptoms of liking a girl and of course his brilliant mind is having a hard time digesting it. Still thinking about his newly revealed capability to love, he got distracted when he heard a heavenly voice airing in the hallways. He entered the room and saw a talented young boy belting his magical voice to his television onlookers.

  • love advice I told this guy I like him, but when I said it, he just smiled and walked away. Does he like me, or am I just crazy for telling him?

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