Latest posts by Deborah (see all)
- Is Dating an Optimization Problem? - February 10, 2019
- What Is the Best Way to Spend Time With Your Significant Other? - January 20, 2019
- Why Do Nice Guys Get Friend-Zoned? - January 13, 2019
Oh, the pain of heartbreak. There is nothing quite like it, and it hurts so deeply. My heart goes out to yours, in what you are going through right now.
Three years is a long time and the longer the relationship goes on, the harder it is for a break-up and the more "pull" we feel to get back together again, as if life will never return to normal without that other person. We have become so accustomed to being with that person, good, bad, and otherwise, that being apart sometimes seems unbearable. That only puts more stress on an already touchy situation.
Based on the verbiage/words that he used in asking you not to contact him, he seems to have strong feelings about the decision. While it is possible that there is a reason based on his love for you, and he is being firm or, what may seem "harsh," in an effort to protect you, this is not as common as the alternative which is that he may possibly have meant the words, or, meant them at the time he said them. If this was a momentary, rash, response on his part, he may regret saying it later, but he needs time to be able to evaluate this for himself.
However, if he truly meant the words, then it may be in your best interest to heed them and not contact him. That way, you are showing your love for him by giving him the space he is requesting.
Whether or not he means it and whether or not he means it forever, he needs the space because 1) he requested it, and 2) he would need it to process any lingering feelings. It is wonderful that you took him back last year, but right now the most precious gift you can give him, is the space that he is requesting, with no expectation that he will ever change his mind about needing that space.